Sunday, 31 July 2016


The last time you went camping, you were mistaken for a bear!

Thursday, 28 July 2016


You don't need the internet to be world-wide.

Friday, 15 July 2016

Cracking up

You're so far that when you fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

Friday, 24 June 2016

Lake superior

You're so fat, when you decided to get a water bed, you bought bedding for Lake Superior.

Tuesday, 21 June 2016


You buy your dresses at the tent store!

Friday, 17 June 2016


Last time I saw a belly like that, I was given a stocking full of presents.

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Get off me!

When you step on the scale it begs you to GET OFF!

One size fits...

You are the reason they changed one size fits all to one size fits most.

Monday, 13 June 2016


Did you go to space yesterday? Because I saw two moons
You're so fat you fill the bathtub before you even turn on the water.