Tuesday 2 December 2014

Mickey D's

I know where you live. The closest McDonald's.

Monday 1 December 2014

Pounds of fat

She looks like a million bucks, if those bucks were pounds of fat.

Sunday 30 November 2014

Seafood diet

He's on a seafood diet... When he sees food, he eats it!

Stomach full of goodies!

I wonder how many children are in that stomach.

Saturday 29 November 2014

Fat person mother joke

It ain't over till the fat lady sings. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this.

Friday 28 November 2014

Bill gates liposuction

You're so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for your liposuction!

Thursday 27 November 2014

Oomph!

She's a real Ooomph girl. When she sits on a sofa, it goes Ooomph!

Theme parks discount

You're so fat when you go to theme parks you get a group discount!

Wednesday 26 November 2014

Impressive?

I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.

Tuesday 25 November 2014

Jaywalking on the sidewalk

You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jay-walking when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change.

Monday 24 November 2014

Broaden your horizons

They say that travel broadens oneself. You must have been around the world.

Sunday 23 November 2014

Cow man

Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.

Saturday 22 November 2014

Group insurance fat people insults

You're so fat if you weighed five more pounds, you could get group insurance!

Shoe shining fat person insult

You're so fat if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take his word for it!

Friday 21 November 2014

Stretch marks

You're so fat, you have the only car in town with stretch marks.

Thursday 20 November 2014

Concrete steps with fat people

You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete.

Dry feet and cold feet!

You're so fat, when you take a shower your feet don't get wet!

Wednesday 19 November 2014

Working

Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I started yelling down the alley while you're in an all you can eat?

Brothers with pacman

You know why they say you and pacman are like brothers? Because neither you can stop eating, and if you did, you'd probably die!

Nasa's new project for fatties

You are so fat NASA orbits satellites around you.

Tuesday 18 November 2014

If only fat kids could play basketball.

You're so fat that when you play basketball the ball bounces you instead.

Handstand slap!

At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.

Monday 17 November 2014

Fat bones

He's not fat - he's "big boned." But his big bones are definitely fat!

Mayonnaise sweat fat people jokes

You're so fat that you sweat mayonnaise!

Sunday 16 November 2014

Saturday 15 November 2014

When did you see your belly button?

I'm sorry but when was the last time you saw your belly button?

Your phone number on my scale

When you stepped on the scale I thought my phone number popped up.

Friday 14 November 2014

Shadow Shadow

He's so fat even his shadow casts a shadow.

Helicopter photo fat person insult

You're so fat your year book picture was taken by a helicopter.

Thursday 13 November 2014

Single file at a wedding...

When she walked down the aisle with her groom, they had to walk single file.

Stuck while jumping

You're so fat that when you jumped up, you got stuck.

I tried to be nice!

Fat? You're not fat, you're just ....oh, hell, OK. You are fat. Very fat indeed, in fact

Yo mama jiggles

Roses are red, and bananas are yellow yo mama so fat she giggle like jellow.

Wednesday 12 November 2014

Lightweight

She's a light eater. As soon as it gets light, she starts eating.

Broken love

You're so fat when you fell in love, you broke it.

Tuesday 11 November 2014

Fat person your picture last christmas

You're so fat, I took a picture of you last Christmas and it's still printing.

Monday 10 November 2014

Dreamy fat person

He's the kind of fella that girls dream about at night -- it's better than seeing him in the light.

The bakery called!

Hey I forgot to tell you: the bakery called, they said they want their rolls back.

Ending world hunger fat person insult

Hey! If we killed you, we would stop world hunger!

Sunday 9 November 2014

Hefty

Shut up, you'll never be the hefty man your mother is

Farmer revolt diet fat people joke

Every time he goes on a diet, the farmers revolt.

Saturday 8 November 2014

Light

Light is generally not a word I'd use to describe you.

Inner beauty obese joke

I've been told that inside every fat person, there's someone beautiful... I'm just wondering who the hell you ate!?

Friday 7 November 2014

But pushups are impossible for you!

You're so fat, when you do push-ups, your stomach hits the floor and leaves marks.

You failed the scale!

You're so fat, when you step on a weighing scale, it says fail.

Are fat people beautiful joke

Behind every fat person there's someone beautiful. No seriously, you're in the way.

Thursday 6 November 2014

Autobot

You wanna know how I know you're an autobot? You have to "roll out" of everywhere you go.

Big girls don't cry

Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.

IQ and Weight Correlate Fat People

If your IQ was as high as your weight, you'd be a genius.

Wednesday 5 November 2014

A million years

She looks like a million -- every year of it.

Row Boat Fat Person Insult

You're so fat, when you get into row boat it becomes a submarine.

Tuesday 4 November 2014

Pringle Fat People Insults

You're so fat, when you're single it's more like single and ready for a Pringle.