Baby

How far along is your baby?

Hospital Bills

I don't wanna have to pay your hospital bills...

C Cup

Are those C cups?

Floor

Be careful where you step. This floor may break.

Lift it up...

Lift up your chin... No the other one!

Sugar Coat

Don't sugar coat the truth, or you might eat it.

Pig

Sorry, I don't speak pig.

Iron

Does your mum iron your clothes on the driveway?

Baptised

Were you baptised at waterworld, or in the sea?

Oink

Your first word was "Oink"

Wide Load

Excuse me, where is your "Wide Load" sticker?

Orbit

I can't escape the gravitational pull!

Sainsburys

When you diet, Sainsburys goes bankrupt!

Birthday

Were you born on July the 12th, 13th and the 14th?

Creases

Can I rent out a crease please?

Birthday

Every time you spin round it's your birthday!

Sizes

Your mums jealous because here boobs aren't as big as yours!

Pool

When you jump in the swimming pool, the water jumps out.

Sun

God, stop blocking out the sun!

Free Willy

Run around them screaming "FREE WILLY!"

Chins

You've got more chins than a Chinese phone book!

Taxi

When you wear a yellow coat people yell "TAXI!"

Your Mum

• Your Mum SUCKS in bed!
• Why?
• She gave birth to you.

Illegal Aliens

Do you rent out your creases to illegal aliens?

Visible From Space

Congratulate him for being the only person visible from space.

Zip Code

Do you have your own ZIP code?

Cafeteria

When he walks into the lunch hall, yell "RUN! HE'LL EAT US ALL!

Horizontally Challenged

"What can I do for you my horizontally challenged friend?"