Just wait till you can't fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from, you slob.

The only thing bubbly about you is the Aero in your back pocket, you lard arse.

You know you're fat when no one has even mentioned you're ginger.

"You're a big lass, aren't you?" I said. 
"Tell me something I don't know," she replied with a tear in her eye.
 "Salad tastes nice."