Mickey D's

I know where you live. The closest McDonald's.

Pounds of fat

She looks like a million bucks, if those bucks were pounds of fat.

Seafood diet

He's on a seafood diet... When he sees food, he eats it!

Stomach full of goodies!

I wonder how many children are in that stomach.

Fat person mother joke

It ain't over till the fat lady sings. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this.

Bill gates liposuction

You're so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for your liposuction!

Oomph!

She's a real Ooomph girl. When she sits on a sofa, it goes Ooomph!

Theme parks discount

You're so fat when you go to theme parks you get a group discount!

Impressive?

I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.

Jaywalking on the sidewalk

You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jay-walking when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change.

Broaden your horizons

They say that travel broadens oneself. You must have been around the world.

Cow man

Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.

Group insurance fat people insults

You're so fat if you weighed five more pounds, you could get group insurance!

Shoe shining fat person insult

You're so fat if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take his word for it!

Stretch marks

You're so fat, you have the only car in town with stretch marks.

Concrete steps with fat people

You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete.

Dry feet and cold feet!

You're so fat, when you take a shower your feet don't get wet!

Working

Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I started yelling down the alley while you're in an all you can eat?

Brothers with pacman

You know why they say you and pacman are like brothers? Because neither you can stop eating, and if you did, you'd probably die!

Nasa's new project for fatties

You are so fat NASA orbits satellites around you.

If only fat kids could play basketball.

You're so fat that when you play basketball the ball bounces you instead.

Handstand slap!

At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.

Fat bones

He's not fat - he's "big boned." But his big bones are definitely fat!

Mayonnaise sweat fat people jokes

You're so fat that you sweat mayonnaise!

Wassup fattie?

What's up? YOUR CHOLESTEROL!

Poopin logs fat person insult

You're so fat, you literally poop logs.

When did you see your belly button?

I'm sorry but when was the last time you saw your belly button?

Your phone number on my scale

When you stepped on the scale I thought my phone number popped up.

Shadow Shadow

He's so fat even his shadow casts a shadow.

Helicopter photo fat person insult

You're so fat your year book picture was taken by a helicopter.

Single file at a wedding...

When she walked down the aisle with her groom, they had to walk single file.

Stuck while jumping

You're so fat that when you jumped up, you got stuck.

I tried to be nice!

Fat? You're not fat, you're just ....oh, hell, OK. You are fat. Very fat indeed, in fact

Yo mama jiggles

Roses are red, and bananas are yellow yo mama so fat she giggle like jellow.

Lightweight

She's a light eater. As soon as it gets light, she starts eating.

Broken love

You're so fat when you fell in love, you broke it.

Fat person your picture last christmas

You're so fat, I took a picture of you last Christmas and it's still printing.

Dreamy fat person

He's the kind of fella that girls dream about at night -- it's better than seeing him in the light.

The bakery called!

Hey I forgot to tell you: the bakery called, they said they want their rolls back.

Ending world hunger fat person insult

Hey! If we killed you, we would stop world hunger!

Hefty

Shut up, you'll never be the hefty man your mother is

Farmer revolt diet fat people joke

Every time he goes on a diet, the farmers revolt.

Light

Light is generally not a word I'd use to describe you.

Inner beauty obese joke

I've been told that inside every fat person, there's someone beautiful... I'm just wondering who the hell you ate!?

But pushups are impossible for you!

You're so fat, when you do push-ups, your stomach hits the floor and leaves marks.

You failed the scale!

You're so fat, when you step on a weighing scale, it says fail.

Are fat people beautiful joke

Behind every fat person there's someone beautiful. No seriously, you're in the way.

Autobot

You wanna know how I know you're an autobot? You have to "roll out" of everywhere you go.

Big girls don't cry

Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.

IQ and Weight Correlate Fat People

If your IQ was as high as your weight, you'd be a genius.

A million years

She looks like a million -- every year of it.

Row Boat Fat Person Insult

You're so fat, when you get into row boat it becomes a submarine.

Pringle Fat People Insults

You're so fat, when you're single it's more like single and ready for a Pringle.