Twinkies

I haven't seen you run that fast since Twinkies went on sale.

Yeast infection

Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection? A: A whopper with cheese.

A good place to eat

Have you ever walked up to a really fat person, and asked them for a good place to eat? Then when they look at you and say they don't know, you look at them, like, "You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we're going to be eating."

When a husband is honest

A wife asked her husband, "Honey, will you still love me when I am old and overweight?" The man replied, "Yes, I do."

Sleeping disorder

A young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. "I am so obsessed with my mother... As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up insuch a state, all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast." The psychiatrist replies: "What, just one piece of toast, for a big boy like you?"

Hot air balloon

Do you remember the time you got in a hot air balloon? You probably don't, it was very short lived.

Greyhound

You're so fat, you use two greyhound buses as rollerblades.

Lowering suspension

There's no need to lower my suspension when you're around.

Group discounts

One possible benefit of you being fat: You're eligible for group discounts!

Elevator

When you get in an elevator it HAS to go down!